it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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