Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
