Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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