The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How does one acquire holy water?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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