so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
