Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Mom said you looked used
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
