3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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