i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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