god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize