I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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