Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
