At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
