I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
