I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
