and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
