I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we're making bets on your personal life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
