jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
