There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
