Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
