the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
