O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
