she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
