Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize