Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
