Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's great music for shaving your balls
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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