Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
