she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
