Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
