when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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