i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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