I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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