I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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