Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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