omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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