would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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