I am spending my child support on dildos
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
