The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize