i always forget guys have bellybuttons
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
