youre lurking in front of me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
