Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize