The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
