You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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