I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
