I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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