keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
As shirtless as possible
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
