Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
