i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize