i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
