when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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