Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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