the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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