I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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