Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize