if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
