its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
