He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
