I'm lost and stupid without you.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
