Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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