Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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