he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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