Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
