u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
