last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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